


You are my home

by GayforBethHarmon



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: Beth realizing she loves Benny, F/M, Feelings Realization, Harmon and Watts own my soul and my ass, I was feeling emotional and this is the result, Jolene giving Beth love advices, Just giving my babies the ending they deserve, This is my first fanfic ahhhh, Yes sir!, please be kind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28910544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayforBethHarmon/pseuds/GayforBethHarmon
Summary: When Benny tells Beth to never call him again, she decides to move on with her life despite the feelings she has started to develop for him. Beth thinks she has everything under control until she arrives to Russia and in her lonely hotel room she realizes how much Benny means to her.But what exactly does she feel for him? And even most importantly, what will Beth do when she has to leave Russia, will she return home or will she return to the only person who has made her feel at home?
Relationships: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts
Comments: 19
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I only wanted to say that English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any errors that may be in the chapter, I would appreciate it if you write in the comments in case you find any. Anyway, I wrote this chapter with a lot of love and I hope you like it!

When they had agreed that Benny would go with her to Russia, Beth had imagined that if she beat Borgov (wrong, she WOULD BEAT Borgov, Benny always corrected her) however when she beat Borgov, Benny would be the first one to congratulate her and they would celebrate it in the biggest way possible, just the two of them. And that sounded more than fine in Beth's head. She couldn't imagine sharing a victory like that with anyone but him, because if there was anyone who understood and loved chess as much as she did, it was undoubtedly that cowboy Benny Watts.  
They had even started speaking Russian occasionally while having breakfast or when they were talking about such trivial things as the weather, Beth had started to make a list of the places that she wanted to visit when they were in Russia, almost all related to chess obviously, things seemed to be going pretty well and that must have been a warning sign for Beth.  
And then ...  
Well, then everything had gone to shit.

“Don't call me again.”  
The moment she heard those words Beth knew she had screwed things up, but it was too late Benny had hung up the phone.  
And then, Beth didn’t call him once even though the idea was constantly hovering in her head, however, Beth's pride was stronger than any other feeling. She repeated to herself that whatever she had had with Benny in those five weeks was over, and denying everything seemed to have worked, at least that was what she liked to think until she arrived in Russia and found herself in her hotel room feeling more lonely than ever, no matter how much her mind avoided it, she always ended up traveling miles away, always to the same damn place, to the same city, and to the same basement.  
And then those stupid words, that Benny had told her the last time they have talked, repeated over and over in Beth’s head as if their only purpose was to torture her.  
He was supposed to be here, with her.  
She had beaten Borgov and he hadn’t seen it...  
And yet here she was, in Moscow, alone, without a second, in an unknown city celebrating with unknown people. She couldn’t deny that it was a nice feeling being celebrated and praised even if it was by strangers, but none of them were Benny and Beth hated them for it, for not being damn chess genius pirates.  
After the initial euphoria of celebrating her victory with Townes and with some fans who recognized her on the street and didn’t hesitate to approach and congratulate her, Beth finally arrived at her hotel room, took off her shoes, and threw herself on the cold bed.  
If she closed her eyes and concentrated she could hear and even see him. She imagined his gaze, because if there was something about Benny Watts that made Beth Harmon feel like a teenage girl in love it was the way he looked at her. Especially when they played chess, every fucking time that Benny was looking at her like that, Beth felt like she was on fire, but not in a painful way, it was as if the flames were slowly devouring her, caressing her skin and letting her breathless. It was definitely not like the looks of disbelief and fear that other chess players gave her in tournaments. It was different, completely different. Benny looked at her as if when they played chess she spoke in a different language and he was the only one capable of understanding her, and then...  
Then the pieces began to move and all her problems and the things that didn’t make sense for Beth in the real world disappeared and her world instantly became that 64-square board. And Benny, he just seemed to understand it, she felt like when they played they were just two people who had finally found someone to share their passion with, it was so beautiful and Beth couldn't help but blame herself for messing it up.  
Suddenly, Beth got up from her bed as if she had been given an electric shock, she had to call him, she had to talk to Benny and tell him that she had won, she needed to hear his voice. She knew that Benny had told her not to call him again, but he had called her. Did that mean he had forgiven her? She would have time to think about that later, now she needed to call him, it was most likely that he had already heard the news on the radio, but her victory was just the perfect excuse to call him without thinking much about what she would say to him. She ran to the phone when a knock on her bedroom door stopped her, Beth cursed inside, if it was someone from cleaning or room service, she could get rid of it quickly, she thought as she opened the door.  
It was definitely not room service...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way Benny looks at Beth just makes my heart melt! And yes mom, I still have a crush on Thomas Brodie-Sangster...  
> If you made it this far, I just want to thank you for reading the first chapter of the first fanfic I've written in my life.  
> I know it is not completely polished but I trust that with time I will improve, plus I have so many ideas about this couple that need to be expressed. I will be more than happy to read your comments, I just ask you to be respectful, I’m a good person I swear!  
> I will try to upload the next chapter as soon as possible.  
> Also, does anyone know how to upload a gif? I want to put one of Benny just staring at Beth, so we all melt together and also to give you an idea about the beautiful way Benny always look at Beth :))


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short chapter but I'll try to upload the next one at night ;)

When Beth opened the door and saw Townes she couldn't suppress the expression of surprise that was drawn on her face.  
If she was not mistaken, Townes should be boarding a plane back to Kentucky right now. So what was he doing outside of her room?  
"Wow, anyone who saw you right now would say you've just seen a ghost, Harmon."  
Beth felt the blood rush to her cheeks.  
"Sorry, it's just that I thought your flight was leaving tonight."  
"Well, my flight was supposed to leave tonight but it was delayed for tomorrow morning. So I thought I should come over here and invite my favorite girl to dinner."  
Beth almost choked hearing that. His favorite girl? Of course, she knew that Townes was not referring to that type of favorite girl but that didn't make it any less weird, she was just getting used to being friends.  
Fuck, why did she have to open that goddamn door?  
Townes waited for a few seconds as he was expecting her to say something but Beth just stood there apparently no words were going to come out of her mouth. So he just smiled as he extended his hand politely.  
"Would the world chess champion mind joining me for dinner?"

Not so long ago Beth would have given anything to be in the same room as Townes, to travel with him, stroll through this beautiful city and eat in luxurious restaurants together and she would definitely have accepted his invitation without thinking twice, however, right now she was about to reject him over a call with Benny Watts. It was funny how things turned out sometimes.  
"Townes I really appreciate your invitation but ..."  
"Harmon, please don’t tell you are thinking of rejecting me." he said as he put his right hand on his chest jokingly.  
Beth felt guilty, rejecting Townes was like kicking a homeless dog.  
"I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm tired, it's been a long day."  
Townes smiled at her, with that stupid beautiful smile he had, oh no she wasn't going to trip over the same stone twice. She had get over Townes, right?  
"Sure, I get it. Then I guess we'll meet in Kentucky."  
"We will." Beth kissed his cheek and shut the door hastily  
This couldn’t wait any longer she was going to call Benny right now before she started overthinking it but with every step she took towards the phone, the air in the room began to get hotter and the walls started to get closer and closer as if they wanted to crush her. It was too late, her mind had already begun to imagine the possibly disastrous results of that call. She was aware that her mind could be her best ally when playing chess, but most of the time it was her worst enemy. It was both a curse and a blessing.  
By the time she picked up the phone, Beth couldn't breathe anymore, she had to get out of there right now.

Beth open the door and began to search frantically for Townes, fortunately, he was still there, she could see him walking down the corridor in the distance and for the first time since Beth had arrived at the hotel, she felt grateful for its long corridors.  
"Townes!" he turned at the sound of Beth’s voice, walking back towards her.  
"Is the dinner invitation still standing?"  
Townes approached Beth and extended his hand towards her again, as he had done just a few minutes ago.  
"Of course."  
Beth looked at the phone one last time before closing the door and taking his hand.  
"Let's go then."  
She kept doing it, no matter how hard she tried to deny it, Beth kept running away from Benny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just feel the need to apologize for this trashy chapter, probably I could have done it better but university is KILLING me.  
> Actually, I was writing this while I was in class and I forgot to shut the microphone, (just my luck) so today I learned that according to my teacher, aggressively typing is a fair reason to get kicked out of class.  
> Anyways, have a nice day!  
> Update with the gif situation: I still don't know how to upload a stupid gif :((


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to be longer but I decided to split it into two parts, in fact, I'm writing the second part right now and I can't wait for you to read it!

Moscow was a beautiful city...

Beth reflected as she walked down the crowded streets.  
Colorful buildings stood proudly under the clouds that filled the sky; as thousands of small, flashing lights came out of them illuminating the streets that the night had already started to paint with darkness.  
Underneath them, the sound of bustling crowds mixed with the horns of the cars gave life to the city.  
There was something about that beautiful scene that felt familiar.  
A sudden warmth embraced Beth’s body, it reminded her of New York...

“This city is amazing, isn't it?” Townes' voice snapped her out of her thoughts.  
Beth closed her eyes as she felt a cool breeze gently brush against her face.  
“It certainly is.”  
”I suppose there are many places you are planning to visit.”  
She doubted for a moment before answering.  
“Not really. I didn't have time to think about it.”  
That little lie felt like a punch in her stomach, she had made a list, a list that was still in her suitcase.  
It just didn't feel right to take it out if Benny wasn't there with her.  
“Well Moscow is a big city, I'm sure you'll find something." Townes winked at her as he opened the door to the restaurant.  
Beth was surprised she hadn't seen it before considering how close it was to her hotel, not to mention the excessive amount of lights that adorned the entrance, making it look like a giant Christmas tree.

Townes ordered a dish with a strange name and Beth ordered the same, hoping it wasn't a bad decision, she felt too idle to read a list of Russian dishes she probably wouldn't remember in a couple of days.  
“Now, I don't know what you think about it, but I'm in the mood for a good wine.”  
She didn't know if it was out of guilt or common sense but her mind immediately rejected the idea of putting a single drop of alcohol in her system.  
“No wine for me, I just want some juice.”  
Townes looked at her as if he was going to protest, but Beth stared at him with that determined look she always gave to her chess opponents, hoping it was enough to make him desist. Fortunately, it was.  
-Well, I guess we'll toast with juice then.  
She wasn’t surprised to find that it had worked, it always did, but this time it came with a sense of relief.  
Beth smiled awkwardly at him hoping he wouldn't ask any questions about it, she wasn't in the mood for the "when I drink I ruin everything" talk.  
Mostly because being with Townes had always felt like escaping from reality, almost like being drunk. If she thought about it, they hardly knew each other and Beth wondered if that was the reason she had been in love with him for so many years.

Dinner passed pleasantly with Beth recreating her play over and over again and with Townes saying things like "Beth there is no one in America, I would dare to say even in the whole world, who doesn't know your name!" or "Everyone wants to meet you, even the president!"

From the way Townes spoke even Beth would have believed that it was him who had beaten Borgov.  
But it wasn't, until almost the end of the dinner that Townes left his repertoire of compliments and replace them with the words that left Beth in checkmate as if he had planned to deliver a bomb at the last minute.  
“I hope you don't mind but I called the boys to tell them that you had won, although they already knew, of course. I really doubt that there is anyone who doesn't know.”  
Beth remained silent, playing with the peas on her plate, as she tried to understand how she felt about it. She could be upset with Townes for taking away her opportunity to call Benny, but after her failed attempt, she felt almost relieved that someone had the courage to do it.  
“I know you probably wanted to tell them the news, but I promised I would call. Besides, if I hadn't called, benny probably would...” Beth instinctively lifted her head from her plate at the sound of his name.  
Townes paused to take a sip of his drink, it was only a few seconds but it felt like an eternity, if he had taken a little longer Beth would have ended up tearing the glass out of his hands.  
“Benny what?” the words came rushing out of her mouth as she looked at him impatiently.  
Townes looked at her for a moment and then smiled.  
“Well, he probably would have killed me if I didn’t call, I had to swear to him several times (Townes adopted a dramatic tone, emphasizing “several times”) that I was going to keep him informed of everything that happened."

“Benny told you that?” Beth felt the corners of her lips turn up and she lifted the glass of juice to her lips in an attempt to hide the stupid smile that had formed on her mouth. Although her plan didn’t have a satisfactory outcome, Townes was looking at her curiously.  
“What Benny didn't tell me would be the real question. After all, he was the one who came up with the idea and let me tell you, that Watts can be quite controlling.  
Beth repeated the words in her head thoughtfully but they didn't make sense, or maybe they did?  
“Townes -she made a pause and looked at him cautiously - what are you talking about?”

* * *

These photos are so cute! I just love these parallels of my babies looking at the other *chef's kiss  
Also, not me being proud of myself because I learned how to upload a picture... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, it feels great to get back to writing, last week wasn't the best and I needed some time to rest.  
> As always, thank you very much for reading and if there are any mistakes I'll be grateful if you let me know, it bothers me a lot that when I translate the chapters many of the things I write don't sound as I want but I try to do my best :))  
> For example, I almost had a seizure with the word dish, since in Spanish we use the word to refer to food but also to refer to where the food is served. (don't know if that makes sense to you)


End file.
